What is up, people? I know I have been AWOL and my absence has caused just as much panic as Walter White’s fugue state did. (Stop imagining me in a grocery store in my birthday suit.) I am sure my absence was felt by all my fans. All 16 of them.
I usually write when I get inspired by certain incidents and/or people I talk to and looking at the frequency with which I write, I think I ought to get inspired more often.
At the moment, the pattern of my thoughts looks a lot like the script of Westworld. Nevertheless, let us try to look at this together and I promise that after we are done, I will give you a link to an amazing video of puppies that we will watch together and will make your head hurt a little less. Let’s go!
How do we know if we are in love with the person or the idea of how magnanimously amazing they are?
It is a soppy thought, I know. But with the alarming growth in the number of relationships I see around me and the frequency with which I hear “He/ she is amazing!” is making me curious. So I *had* to investigate this topic. It was either this or the definition of the word “amazing”. Something tells me I have chosen the road not taken.
Through my fair share of experience, I have learnt the basics of getting into a relationship. You “put your best foot forward”- the very same foot that used to roam around all day in borrowed Hawai chappals is now not allowed to see the light of day without a pedicure and diamond studded pair of Gucci shoes.
Hey! No shame! While you were busy fitting yourself into a dress two sizes smaller for your body and 4 inches too short for your self confidence, your paramour was busy memorizing dialogues from ‘The Notebook’ in French whilst doing his Kegel exercises. It’s an understanding two strangers share- Don’t ask, Don’t tell *wink wink*
So, it is safe to say that we meet a distorted version of the person we intend to be with and over time we figure out who we really are with. The only thing in this standard procedure that worries the control freak inside me is that there is no limit that defines the degree and duration this distortion is allowed to last. So unless you use you noggin’ and whip up a relationship agreement like Sheldon and Amy, you might be in a dangerous territory my friend.
Most of us who try to cling on to this version of ourselves longer than we should do it because we do not feel comfortable enough to let the other person see how who we truly are. And that is justified right? How many people do we have in our lives who accept us for the selfish, lazy, fickle minded bums we are? So this fear is justified. It’s cool. You know what is not cool? Doing Drugs. Oh and also leading people on by making them believe they are in a relationship with someone you are not. If you cannot be honest with them what are you even doing? (Better not be drugs)
And all you “better halves” who are nodding your head right now know that you are responsible too. You know when things get real you start getting bored because you see them as a predictable being (as you are) and acceptance is the last thing on your radar. “Amazing” turns to “Boring” and “Baby” turn into “The old ball and chain”,
Why am I saying all this? Because I, for one, really think that we need to understand the concept of loving a person and not just the idea of them. To understand that someone who seem to be great at being ‘I’ might not be good at being ‘Us’. And that a relationship is a relationship only when YOU, and not some indestructible and impeccably dressed video game version of you, are in it. And if the other person cannot handle you in all your glory (every sassy, dirty, whiny, cranky yet sexy bit of it) then you know you have to wait for the real deal. Because you really are amazing!
Phew! That was heavy! But it is over now. And as I promised, I have video for you right here.
Until next time! 🙂